Our son's design for our new house

Okay, I know I am not a very good architect. The basement isn’t shown, the doors swing into all sorts of inconvenient places, there are no windows, and there isn't a closet in the whole house. Who needs closets?! I just spread my junk over all the space I have. The room descriptions are a little hyperbolic, but I didn’t go too far from the truth.

A This living room has a worn out black carpet, covered in strange designs. The edges are frayed, and there are holes where there was furniture before the moving into this house. The front door opens into a position in which it would collide with anyone (and everyone) in the room. An open doorway leads into a room with a cheap, new, machine made, worn out, excessively described, white carpet. The newly-built-yet-already-collapsing stairway leading upstairs is muddy, and the mud has started to mix with the wet paint. An open doorway leads into the dining room, in which furniture has been arranged to completely block passage through the room, yet still have an acceptable arrangement. Through a closed, opaque door you can see the room in which Judi Babcock paints, with easy access to the bathroom so she can drain corrosive paints through the sink, and into the plumbing.

B The main feature of this room is a single doorway leading out of it. There is also a TV, with two different video game systems connected to it, both of which are on and draining power, in spite of the fact that the TV is off and no one else is present. Video game controller cables act as trip wires throughout this room, and the controllers themselves are hidden under the rug.

C The furniture arrangement in this room divides it in half, making it impossible to get from one half to the other. However, the furniture has not been moved due to procrastination. A tablecloth covers the main barrier in this room, but you can’t tell what color the tablecloth used to be due to the fact that each fourth of it is a different, blotchy stain-like color.

D This room, which Judi Babcock uses to paint in, has a clear-plastic rug, which was apparently designed to protect the floor from dropped paint. Footprints of every imaginable color of paint leave the room, especially into the bathroom, to which this studio is directly connected.

E This bathroom has never been cleaned, and thus some old carpentry tools are still present. The sink, currently blue, turns a different color every time Judi starts painting.

F This kitchen contains every imaginable annoyance, from the microwave which beeps at the volume of the smoke detector to the oven with a complex algebraic formula to convert degrees displayed on temperature display to actual temperature. The door, leading to the stairs, leading to the garage, leading to outside, is, well, leading to the stairs leading to the garage et cetera.

G This room is the bed room of both parents of Jimmy Babcock. It contains a (former) water bed, a large puddle, a soaked night table, two bookshelves, and some miscellaneous storage items. The cause of the leak in the (former) water bed appears to be a stalactite which has fallen from the ceiling.

H This room, which is jimmybabcock@juno.com’s bedroom, contains a bed, a partially obsolete computer, a network connection, and a bookshelf on which are many not yet unpacked boxes.

I This tiny room is in use as a guest room. It is the only room in the house which does not have some serious flaw.

J This enormous room is currently in use as a computer room. Network cables cover the floor, and whether or not there is a carpet in this room is not clear. The server, which controls this entire network, is the fastest computer in the house, and also was bought at the cheapest price.

K As you enter this bathroom, a motion sensor, intended to turn on the small water fountain in the corner, simultaneously turns on the shower, sink, ceiling fan, and toilet. A logo on the motion sensor quickly explains why this problem happens, as it was made by Micro$oft.

L This room is currently being used to compensate for the fact that there is not a single closet in the house. Junky room dividers categorize junk by year obtained.


A	This living room has a worn out black carpet, covered in strange designs. The edges are frayed, and there are holes where there was furniture before the moving into this house. The front door opens into a position in which it would collide with anyone (and everyone) in the room. An open doorway leads into a room with a cheap, new, machine made, worn out, excessively described, white carpet. The newly-built-yet-already-collapsing stairway leading upstairs is muddy, and the mud has started to mix with the wet paint. An open doorway leads into the dining room, in which furniture has been arranged to completely block passage through the room, yet still have an acceptable arrangement. Through a closed, opaque door you can see the room in which Judi Babcock paints, with easy access to the bathroom so she can drain corrosive paints through the sink, and into the plumbing.
B	The main feature of this room is a single doorway leading out of it. There is also a TV, with two different video game systems connected to it, both of which are on and draining power, in spite of the fact that the TV is off and no one else is present. Video game controller cables act as trip wires throughout this room, and the controllers themselves are hidden under the rug.
C	The furniture arrangement in this room divides it in half, making it impossible to get from one half to the other. However, the furniture has not been moved due to procrastination. A tablecloth covers the main barrier in this room, but you can’t tell what color the tablecloth used to be due to the fact that each fourth of it is a different, blotchy stain-like color.
D	This room, which Judi Babcock uses to paint in, has a clear-plastic rug, which was apparently designed to protect the floor from dropped paint. Footprints of every imaginable color of paint leave the room, especially into the bathroom, to which this studio is directly connected.
E	This bathroom has never been cleaned, and thus some old carpentry tools are still present. The sink, currently blue, turns a different color every time Judi starts painting.
F	This kitchen contains every imaginable annoyance, from the microwave which beeps at the volume of the smoke detector to the oven with a complex algebraic formula to convert degrees displayed on temperature display to actual temperature. The door, leading to the stairs, leading to the garage, leading to outside, is, well, leading to the stairs leading to the garage et cetera.
G	This room is the bed room of both parents of Jimmy Babcock. It contains a (former) water bed, a large puddle, a soaked night table, two bookshelves, and some miscellaneous storage items. The cause of the leak in the (former) water bed appears to be a stalactite which has fallen from the ceiling.
H	This room, which is jimmybabcock@juno.com’s bedroom, contains a bed, a partially obsolete computer, a network connection, and a bookshelf on which are many not yet unpacked boxes.
I	This tiny room is in use as a guest room. It is the only room in the house which does not have some serious flaw.
J	This enormous room is currently in use as a computer room. Network cables cover the floor, and whether or not there is a carpet in this room is not clear. The server, which controls this entire network, is the fastest computer in the house, and also was bought at the cheapest price.
K	As you enter this bathroom, a motion sensor, intended to turn on the small water fountain in the corner, simultaneously turns on the shower, sink, ceiling fan, and toilet. A logo on the motion sensor quickly explains why this problem happens, as it was made by Micro$oft.
L	This room is currently being used to compensate for the fact that there is not a single closet in the house. Junky room dividers categorize junk by year obtained.